Ella has officially decided she's done with the boob. After three weeks of only doing one feed per day in the morning, she has refused to latch the last three days.
I was feeling quite heartbroken and emotional about it this morning, but after much contemplation, I have made peace with it. I made it to 16 weeks, and although I had hoped for a couple more months, at least she did start off quite well with mommy's liquid gold.
Breastfeeding Ella was such a different experience to breastfeeding Mia! Can read my blog post about breastfeeding Mia here.
I think what happened was, Mia breastfed so often, it kept my supply stimulated and sufficient. I don't think Ella fed enough, and the low milk supply caused her lots of frustration at how hard she had to work to drink. There were already lots of milk ducts that didn't work due to being damaged after my breast reduction op from 10 years ago. So actually having been able to have breastfed at all was already lucky!
I can still snuggle her and hold her close as she drinks her bottle, so I'm not worried about the "closeness" that breastfeeding brings, I know we're snugglebugs enough! I am sad that she's not getting all the good antibodies and probiotics that a mother's milk naturally supplies. I'm sad I didn't wean her based on my decision and on my terms...
Feeding time is at least much faster now that it's only a bottle, which helps a lot, especially when I'm doing my best to give both baby and pre-schooler lots of attention!
Also, now I have my body back to myself, after 9 months of pregnancy and 3 months of breastfeeding!
Bittersweet, everything just goes so fast. We've got the introduction of solids coming up in the next couple of weeks, wow!
xx
Aww I remember how sad I was when Matthew weaned himself just shy of 6 months. Good luck Jess, it's never easy. WOW to the solids coming up! Wish there was a device to slow down time....
ReplyDeleteYes, ditto @ wishing for a device that could slow time down, it's ridiculous how it just speeds by!!
Deletexx
Ag née... blogger het alweer my comment gesteel...heirs dit weer:
ReplyDeleteSo sorry my friend... But I think you did a phenomenal job! So many women who had breast reductions did not even attempt breastfeeding, not only did you attempt it, you did it for almost four months. You gave both your girls the best start in life, you did well. Really, really well. Hope you are a little bit less sad today, big hugs! Mia and Ella are lucky to have such a wonderful mommy as yourself. I say celebrate the good job you are doing with some bubbly tonight! Xx
Ag nee, ek kan nie verstaan hoekom blogger so maak met so baie mense se comments nie, ekskuus!!
DeleteDankie vriendin. Beste idee om met 'n glasie bubble te celebrate vanaand! ;-)
xx
Well done for coming this far Jess! You gave both your girls an awesome start to life. Now you can enjoy some vino, please have a glass on me :-)
ReplyDeleteDankie Chantal! Hehe, ja, goeie plan - ek sal verseker 'n glasie vino op jou skink!
Deletexx
You really have made such a huge effort with your girls!
ReplyDeleteTrying my best!
Deletexx
You've done very well. You've given Ella an excellent start. If it's worth anything, Liam was only breastfed for 3 months and he's a wonderfully healthy child.
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen! ♥ xx
DeleteYou are really lucky to have been able to breastfeed. Undergoing breast reduction presents a 50% chance of being unable to breastfeed, after all. Anyway, I'm glad that you're looking at things positively, Jess. I guess Ella just prefers to drink from the bottle than to breastfeed. Plus, you're completely right, the closeness that breastfeeding brought the two of you won't change since you can still snuggle her. :)
ReplyDeleteByron Brewer @ Knight and Sanders - Knight