Wednesday, August 12, 2015

A teething, clingy toddler stage...

I want to blog about these difficult times too - things aren't always all smiles and fun and happy moments...  and these hard times form part of the memories, and I know that it becomes a blurred memory in time, but being right in the middle of it, man, it's tough!!

I did a blog post about Ella's sleep here, when she was almost a year old.  Now, at 15.5 months, it is still very much hit and miss!  She has spoilt me with a few nights of sleeping through the night, and oh gosh, did that give me a taste of how wonderful it could be... but mostly she's been back to the average of waking twice a night - and then at 4am she refuses to lie down again, so she comes into bed with me.  Sometimes she sleeps again then, and sometimes she doesn't...  But I'm all out of fight!

Then, since last weekend, it got worse again - she was waking between 4 and 6 times a night, and sometimes staying awake for hours on end.  (The worst one being while we had visitors here, she woke at 23h30, and when, at half-past-midnight I still couldn't get her to sleep, I marched downstairs letting all the visitors hear her screaming over the monitor and switched the music off and marched back upstairs without saying goodbye...  Not my finest moment, but yeah, gosh, help. Haha!)

Last week passed in a sleep-deprived haze, I literally felt like my brain was foggy and fuzzy.  Got to bed before 9pm most nights, only for the pajama drill to start half an hour later.

Previously I mentioned how I can't sleep well when she's in bed with me, but I've actually passed that stage now, and am just relieved to bring her into our bed so that I can get 2 hours of sleep!  Forming habits I have always been against, but hey, just doing what works...

Then, this weekend we went to the inlaws in the Free State.  Ella was so clingy and only wanted me to hold her, she would scream blue murder if anybody else tried to pick her up!  In the mornings, when we usually would take Ella to mom-in-law so that we can sleep in a bit, she just cried and cried until she was back in my arms again.  Some really hectic separation anxiety going on!

I do my best to just go with the flow, most of the time.  Hold her, cuddle her, reassure her.  It's a stage, it will pass, and before I know it she'll be sleeping through the night (gosh, hopefully!!!) and not sleeping in my arms anymore...

But last night I just burst into tears, after she woke up at 23h30 and I just couldn't get her back to sleep, my back is so sore from the way I have to lean over into her cot to keep her lying down, and just when I think she's asleep and I start to leave the room, she looks up, sees I'm not there and starts crying again. I was literally on my knees with my head against the cot. Finally got her to stay asleep at 1am.  Then she proceeded to wake again at 2am, 4am and 5am.  Can you say zombified mama?

She's got 12 teeth, and her gums are super swollen, so guessing the eye teeth are on their way.  Hope it doesn't take weeks and weeks like the damn molars did...


Ai shame, little baba.  Looking at this pic now, I feel bad for the times I'm all like, "go the f#ck to sleep now"...  She's only this little for such a short while, even though it feels like an eternity when we're in the moment!

I will sleep again...  For now, if mama's arms is what she needs, mama's arms is what she gets.
xx

12 comments:

  1. Oh gosh,, memories floating back. I will be thinking of you - our L only started sleeping through at 5 (but then he has issues outside of the usual). I am still not recovered - I have no idea if I will ever feel that I get enough sleep.

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    1. Oh gosh, yes, I also don't think one can ever recover from 5 years of sleep deprivation!!
      Well, on the bright side, we'll never take sleeping for granted ever again!
      xx

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  2. Oh goodness, sounds like you are having a rough time at the moment. Shame man, these things us parents have to push through are sometimes hard. And hey, I'm sure that we have ALL said "go the F to sleep now" haha. I remember sleeping standing up with my hand over the cot rails on Liams back sometimes. Then I put a solid teddy on his back trying to mimic the weight. Why do I remember that you can actually buy a stuffed hand shaped thing for this? LOL
    Hope things get better soon (hug)

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    1. Haha I actually was contemplating how I could rig something up next to her cot, hang my gown over it, so that she would think I'm standing there, LOL!
      xx

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  3. *Yawn* right with you there, my friend. We will sleep again some day, right now two little girlies needs us more than what we need sleep right now, but hopefully they'll give this weary mommies some rest to recharge soon! Big hugs xx

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    1. Eish my friend. *Yawn* United we stand!
      xx

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  4. Oooh I so know this. And I often say "go the f#ck to sleep now". Had this with Matthew too so even though it's not new, it still sucks monkey balls. At the moment, I put Ethan down in his cot just before I go to bed. Normally he wakes within an hour and then I immediately put him in our bed. There is just no way I could function at work if I was to stand over his cot and try to put him back to sleep. That child of mine is a cryer and does.not.stop.crying.EVER! So yes, forming bad habits... I say Whatever! At least your sanity is being saved and you're getting some sleep. Matthew also slept in our bed but now, at 4 and a half years old, sleeps through the night in his own bed. It will pass. Do what ever works now. Good luck Momma! You're doing the best job you can!

    (PS: Sorry for the essay) :)

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    1. Ag shame Kim, it's such a hectic stage. True @ just doing whatever works for now.
      Thanks for reading!
      Good luck to you too my friend.
      xx

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  5. Ah no, that kind of lack of sleep is quite soul destroying. I want to say it will pass but that doesn't really help you much right now does it? Sorry my friend, I do hope this difficult phase passes soon though!

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    1. Thanks dear Rox! It will pass... and then I'll miss how little she was. Cruel trick of nature!!
      xx

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  6. I can only give you lots of hugs. Nicky still wakes up at night at 3 but at least not so frequently, maybe just once or twice. I'm not sure if I love the baby stage or just want the independence - there are pros and cons both ways.

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    1. Thanks for hugs!!
      So true about the pros and cons both ways hey!
      xx

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